Universal Laws of Payroll
These are not statutes, regulations, or court
decisions, but they reflect
some basic truths of payroll. Some of them are legitimate...some are
ironic...and some are whimsical. We welcome your suggestions.
The Payroll Prime Directive
Don't mess with their paychecks!
Kay's Boss's Law
You're not guilty until you're caught.
The Coffee House Corollary
The cost of compliance may be more than the cost of the
penalties.
The Law of Materiality
Who cares?
The Don't Panic Postulate
There is ALWAYS an exception.
The Rule of Legislative Retribution
When the law gives you an exception (such as exempt
employees), there's always a catch (such as guaranteed salaries).
The Employment Obviousness
They're your employee, not a contractor.
The Basic Concept
The employer is master of the workplace. Everything
is the employer's responsibility.
The Red Flag
Issuing 1099's and W-2's to the same person in the same
year is not a good thing.
The Self-Employment Irony
Someone who is self employed can't fire themselves without
cause.
The Overtime Concept
EVERYONE who works over 40 in a workweek, gets overtime at
time and a half.
The Exempt Rule
They're non-exempt.
The Exempt Guidance
Exempt employees are compensated for the general value of
their services, not for the amount of time they spend on the job.
The Salary Standard
Exempt employees get a guaranteed salary.
The Working Time Tenet
It's working time if they're under the control of the
employer and engaged in activities that are of benefit to the employer.
The Employee's Un-Involvement
They don't get to decide about overtime issues.
The Records Requirement
If it's not documented, it didn't happen.
Pete's Postulate (HR Variation)
1. Document
2. Document
3. Document
Pete's Three Word Rule of HR
Contact legal counsel.
The Record Quality Equivalence
The audit will be three years from now, not
tomorrow.
The Tax Rule
It's taxable.
The Cash Concern
Cash is always taxable.
The Attorney Conundrum
The only advice you should believe is what comes from YOUR
lawyer.
The State Priority
Where the employee works will generally determine which
state law applies.
The Rule of Annoyance
If your security system isn't inconveniencing and annoying
people, it isn't much of a security system.
Again, remember if you have a new Universal Law of
Payroll, we welcome your suggestion. Please contact
us.
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